Why Me?
by ilovetvalot
Summary: It was the one question that he'd asked himself over and over...why him? JJ/Reid Written in response to the Father's Day Bonus Challenge at the TV Prompt Challenge.


**Author's Note: Again thanks to Kavi Leighanna and Sienna27 for their inspiring Television Prompt Challenge!**

**Why Me?**

_**Prompt: Ghost Whisperer: "Deadbeat Dads"**_

As I stared down into the perfectly formed face of the newest addition to our Unit, I couldn't help feeling at a marked loss. "What was your mother thinking, Henry?" I whispered nervously to the bundle I held securely against my chest, his alert blue eyes peering back at me curiously. "JJ is usually much smarter than this," I confided, convinced that the squirming six week old would keep our conversation in the strictest confidence.

After all, he was my godson. There had to be some unwritten confidentiality clause somewhere in the agreement, right? If not, I'd be sure to construct one at my earliest convenience.

Darting my eyes toward JJ's slightly ajar office door, I frowned as I felt the baby's little fingers press against my hand. Seriously, there were better men for the job she'd asked me to do. More prepared, more amenable, less socially awkward men with skills far outweighing any degree I might have. "She doesn't realize the fate she's consigning you to if something happens, Henry," I told the baby apologetically, shaking my head as I rebalanced his small weight.

When my companion only gurgled in reply, his small cheeks puffing and contracting, I continued, warming to my topic, "I mean, anthropologically speaking, I understand the concept of family. I've even written papers on its construct. But practically speaking, I've got no experience with familial relationships. Or, at any rate, not the kind of experiences I want you to have.

Hearing the baby snuffle as if to say, "Come on, Uncle Spence, tell me all about it," I continued.

"Let's be realistic here, Henry. I've had two deadbeat father figures in my life. One left me because he was overwhelmed by my mother's illness. His brilliant solution was to leave a seven year old child as head of the household with a schizophrenic mother. Smart, huh?" I asked sarcastically, dropping my eyes back to the tiny life I held cradled against me, carefully pressing my finger to his pudgy cheek. "Then," I sighed with a shake of my head as I carefully moved my hand beneath his back, "because I didn't learn my lesson well enough the first time, I began to see my mentor as a father figure. A common enough occurrence," I shrugged my tense shoulders as Henry yawned widely, "but, tragically, my faith was misplaced in Jason again."

Realizing my young friend did not yet know the name I'd mentioned, I clarified, "Jason Gideon. You'll hear his name a lot as you grow up. And usually it isn't used in a very nice context. Especially by me."

Clearing my throat, the mere mention of that man's name sometimes more than even my mind could handle, I soldiered on. "At any rate, Jason alone can't be blamed for my decision to cast him in the role of father. I made that decision. Although, I will say, at the time, he didn't seem to mind. There were times that I think he actually relished it. But, in the end, he left, too. And the saddest part is, I still don't know why."

Looking down at the seemingly content child I held, his perfectly formed fingers tucked under his chin, I offered him a weak smile. "So, you can see why I'm mystified, right? Honestly, Henry, why me? I have no idea how to change a diaper. I don't have a clue about what to feed you. I can't teach you how to ride a bike. I don't know how to ride a bike. And don't get me started on relationships with the opposite sex…"

"We didn't choose you for the things you don't know how to do, Spence," JJ's soft voice said suddenly from the doorway, her tone filled with warmth and compassion. She took a step forward as she added, "Anyone can show you how to change a diaper. You could learn to ride a bike if you needed to. And he can go to Derek if he needs advice on the girls."

Slipping inside the room completely and closing the door softly behind her, JJ crossed the office and dropped to the cushion beside me on the sofa. "We chose you because of the things you know NOT to do."

"I don't understand," I said, shaking my head as I looked in what had to be confusion at the woman who was the closest thing to a sister I would ever have.

She reached into the diaper bag on the floor as she explained, "You know what not to do in parenting, Spence. You know that you can't abandon him. That you can't walk away when things get hard. You understand how important a stable, loving environment will be for him because you didn't have one yourself. It's because of the road you've already traveled that Will and I chose you." Her eyes seemed bluer than ever, then, as she added, "We knew you'd keep him safe."

Swallowing painfully past the lump clogging my throat, I tried to blink away the moisture that had collected in my eyes. Who knew simple words could be so difficult? "I…I'm honored you have that much faith in me," I replied quietly, my eyes falling back to the baby that now contentedly sucked on the bottle JJ held for him. "It's a humbling experience."

"Welcome to parenthood," JJ murmured with an easy smile as she, too, stared down at her son.

And in those calm moments, I realized that with the right role model, I might just get the gist of being a godfather after all.

_**finis**_

* * *

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